Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I Dream of Dreams


You know for all the criticism that J.K. Rowling sometimes receives about her writing, I think she really deserves some credit. I can't tell you the number of times I've found her words resonating in my mind - months, now even years since I've read some of her books. And what always amazes me about some of the things she says in her books is how wise she must be, especially when it comes to things Dumbledore says (seriously, I am in awe of how wise she must be - either she is freakishly wise or she has a very special muse speaking through her .... but the idea of where writing comes from is another post altogether).

Take this gem for example: 'It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.'

In the book when Dumbledore says this he's really speaking about our heart's greatest desires, dreams in that sense, but for me, for me I have to heed this advice when it comes to my actual night-time dreams. Not all of my dreams of course are so fascinating and enjoyable that I run the risk of forgetting to live of course, but some of them - I don't know, there's just something about them. Some quality that isn't present in most other dreams ... it's this sensation that they leave me with - I can hardly describe it. In my whole life so far I can only think of 4 or 5 dreams that had this affect on me - but how they captivate me! I remember these dreams so vividly, I can remember the intense colours and the feelings of wonder or absolute peace that they brought me.

One in particular brings me such a sense of calm - it's so simple, I'm simply in a small boat (a canoe or rowboat) and I'm in the middle of this lake just floating round and round in circles and the water is still, so magnificently still and the sky is perfectly and completely reflected in the water - an endless blue sky with those small white puffy clouds that go on and on - and there's no telling where the water ends and the sky begins and I'm just there floating in the centre.... content, at peace.

And I think about these dreams all the time and I just want so desperately to have another one - 4 or 5 times in 21 years just seems too short a frequency to experience such beauty. I want more, I want to feel this way every night.

Sometimes I think I'm becoming obsessed with my dreams and I wonder what causes this. Is this desire somehow a reflection on my "real" life? What do these dreams mean? Am I so obsessed with them of late because of my insomnia? Do they evade me because of these stressful periods?

What is with these dreams? Have you ever had dreams that leave you with a similar feeling? What are your thoughts on why we dream the things we do and why some dreams just stay with us?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

These Locks Still Have Some Bite


Medusa indeed. When I was a child my Dad used to call me Medusa - his idea of humour, but it should give you some idea as to the wildness of my hair. I'm of mixed parentage which makes for A LOT of curly hair and when I was a child it was completely unmanageable. I ended up having to get it relaxed at a fairly young age, relatively speaking (if you don't know much about relaxing hair, it can be kind of risky if done at too young an age, and by risky I mean your hair could fall out). Anyways, for years I'd get my hair relaxed every couple of months and that kept it manageable (more or less). Then a couple of years ago I decided I wanted to go back to my natural curl and I let the relaxed hair at long last grow out and go away.

At first it wasn't so bad, I found a salon that specialized in curly hair and they showed me how to tame my wild locks. But of late I've found that original wildness starting to return. You need proof? All right, let's set up a challenge - my curly hair vs. a boar-bristle brush .... guess who came out on top. I couldn't believe it - my hair triumphed over a boar-bristle brush - I mean, have you seen boars? - they're pretty tough looking dudes! (see picture to your right).

In hindsight though - this is my own fault - I did want to go back to my natural self - grow it, release the wild --- phrase it however you like - it doesn't change the fact it takes me half an hour to sort out my hair in the shower. But the weird thing is, even after all this trouble and nonsense - I still love my curls. I love the way they twist around, I love the way they bounce, I love the way they frame my face. But now I'm coming up to decision time - what will I do with my hair for my wedding? Leave the curls or straighten it? On the one hand - natural beauty is the best beauty - on the other, straight hair is more controllable - I could have an up-do! Anyone want to weigh in on this choice?

And there was actually a point to all this rambling about hair, I swear. My question is this - how much do you think someone's hair is a part of their identity? Can hair change a person?